NASCAR. Just a few hours of guys in fast cars driving in circles.
Exciting? Only if you like repeated left-hand turns (At least they're going the right way).
Intense? Maybe the last 5 laps.
Pure? Hardly. Any disollusioned MLB/NFL fans who might wander into nascar newbie-ness looking for a sport not full o cheating bastards normally end up choking on the exhaust left in the wake of all plethora of ways you can cheat in nascar. Spoilers too high, rocket fuel, etc.
Entertaining? About as much as Emeril Live.
Strategy? How bout I play chess instead?
Yet this entity called nascar is a huge business, and that's an understatement. Myself, I cant seem to understand why. IT IS FREAKING BORING. THEY ARE DRIVING IN A CIRCLE.
Suggestion of improving NASCAR #1: Switch to two-man teams per car. The tandem of drivers must take turns roof-surfing on top of the car, a la Teen Wolf. Doing such a manuver at 200-plus mph is inherently dangerous, to say the least. Nothing sells like the possibility of seeing another man's brain matter!
Suggestion for improving nascar #2: Track modifications A. Anyone whos ever played Need For Speed Underground can tell you what NASCAR is lacking most is hair-pin turns. The new-wave NASCAR track should feature twists & turns.
Suggestion for improving nascar #3: Track modifications B. One of my most profound visions for an entertaining nascar race features land mines which drivers have to dodge. Only a small dose of C-4, enough to ensure the destruction of the vehicle, but not enough to blow the driver to bits.
Announcer: "Johnson's right on Harvick's tail....he's going high side!! He's going to take the lead with 2 1/2 laps to go, I dont beleive--- ((KA-BOOM))).
Suggestion for improving NASCAR #4: Allow driver-driver fist fights, a la hockey. It's no secret tht some drivers hate each other. All of them hate Tony Stewart. So whay not throw in an extra cup point as incentive for a post-race fist fight?
You want to talk about revolutionizing the chase for the cup? How bout making up points with three straight top 5 finished plus two extra points for piledriving Jeff Gordon on the tarmac? This would open the door for the Ultimate Warrior's burgeoning career as a race car driver. I hear he's a hell of a roof-surfer, too.
